E!, the cable network that pioneered the 360 glam cam technology that allows us to properly assess celebrities’ backsides, has once again proven that it is the nation’s leading innovator of red carpet coverage, thanks to the mani-cam.
What is the mani-cam, you ask? Well, if you ask someone at E!, it’s a charming way to engage Emmy Award nominees by having them show off their lovely manicures on an adorable mini-red carpet.
If you ask a normal person who watched the E! Emmy red carpet show, it’s a diorama that makes famous people’s hands look like evil, blinged-out, well-polished finger monsters that are going to TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
Honestly, people, red carpet coverage is now a short breath away from turning into Señor Wences’s old routine from “The Ed Sullivan Show.”
I fully expect to turn on E! during the 2013 Emmys and see Julie Bowen telling Giuliana Rancic that her hand is wearing Zac Posen and lipstick by Bobbi Brown. “S’awlright, Julie? S’awlright.”
But perhaps the most egregious crime committed by the mani-cam is the fact that it didn’t even feature the TV thumbnails of Zooey Deschanel, even though she openly tweeted images of them earlier this evening. Just imagine how gorgeous these babies would have looked fumbling awkwardly past itty-bitty fake hedges.
Seriously, if E! already has the 360 Glam Cam and the stiletto cam and the mani-cam, what else can they do to pioneer pre-awards cermony coverage? The Purse Going Through Security Cam Cam? The Dental X-Ray Cam, which would allow us to see which “Breaking Bad” cast members have cavities? The boundaries have officially been pushed wide open, everyone.