Emile Hirsch, star of such films as “The Girl Next Door” and “Into the Wild,” recently decided that there’s no better time to shoot a YouTube video than right after wisdom teeth surgery.

Hence, the Internet has now been brightened by the addition of the three-minute clip below, in which a mush-mouthed Hirsch attempts to process his recently completed procedure through a purple haze of pain-killing meds.

“I want to be just like, take me to the unicorn girl,” he says at one point.

“No, I don’t,” he quickly adds. “You know what I’m talkin’ about, right?”

Dude, I have zero idea what you’re talking about. But I do know that this video is pretty amusing.