The ESPY Awards is one of those summertime trophy shows that is absolutely necessary. I mean, if we don’t honor the work of famous and overpaid athletes during this ESPN-sanctioned ceremony, when will we do it?
At the ESPYs — which took place last night in Los Angeles and aired, as improbable as this sounds, on ESPN — attention was indeed paid to the Jeremy Lins, Tim Tebows and Drew Breeses of the world. But some notable names from the entertainment industry also were present, in keeping with the ESPY tradition of forcing movie and TV stars to interact with sports figures. All they had in common, in most cases, was their fat bank accounts and super-toned bodies. How would they get along? Oh, just famously, as these photos suggest.
Shaun White, Olivia Munn and Munn’s cleavage joined forces to present the award for Best Upset. Munn became a topic of conversation on the Internet as a result, but of course that was because everyone wanted to discuss what her character on “The Newsroom” suggests about journalism and gender roles.
Oh no, wait. They just wanted to talk about her cleavage.
Jessica Biel and Tim Tebow put on a color-coordinated front as they presented the ESPY for Breakthrough Athlete to Lin.
Kenny Chesney handed Drew Brees his shiny ESPY for Best Record-Breaking Performance. At least I think that’s Chesney under that hat. It’s also possible that was Hank Williams Jr. trying to sneak his way back onto the sports scene undetected after last year’s “Are You Ready for Some Football? And also, I Think I’ll Compare President Obama to Hitler” fiasco.
The statuesque Cody Horn of “Magic Mike” was paired up with NASCAR racer Jimmie Johnson, who, sadly, did not perform a striptease to Ginuwine’s “Pony.” Missed opportunity.
Zooey Deschanel did one of her super-cute Deschanel-ish bits where she acted like a girly girl who doesn’t understand football and gave fellow presenter Aaron Rodgers advice about how to “play” and “run faster.” (Aaron Rodgers is a quarterback for the Green Bay Packers. If you’re a girl, you probably didn’t know that — tee hee hee.) Obviously it was a joke, and Deschanel played the part well. But I’m pretty sure Title IX was repealed as a direct result of this incident.
. . . And then Brittney Griner, Baylor basketball superstar, won it and scared the heck out of Panettiere with her daunting height. That old “Heroes”catchphrase still stands: Hug the cheerleader, save the hilarious photo. Wait, that’s how that saying went, right?