In case you haven’t heard the news, Joey Lawrence has decided to become a Chippendale.
The Associated Press reports that the former “Blossom” star will appear for three weeks as a “singer, dancer and host” with the elite group of male strippers in their Las Vegas show. He’ll do his beefcake time next month.
In a statement that was supposed to explain his reason for doing this but only raises additional questions, Lawrence told the AP, “I found out that guys like Brad Pitt and Javier Bardem have also done stuff like this, and being the fearless guy that I am, I said yes.”
Wait, Brad Pitt and Javier Bardem stripped before they became excellent actors?
Follow-up question: Does anyone have a time machine I can borrow?
Another follow-up question: Does Lawrence think that by joining the Chippendales, he’s putting himself in the same category as these Oscar-caliber actors? Probably not, but it kind of sounds that way.
Lawrence also said he was inspired to go all Swayze/Farley on us after seeing Channing Tatum’s upcoming male stripper movie “Magic Mike.” I imagine I also will be inspired when I watch Matt Bomer take off his clothes in that movie. Inspired. Yes. That is the right word for it.
Wow, I can’t believe I’ve gotten this far in this blog post without referring to Lawrence’s catchphrase. It’s incredibly hard to resist, given that I can’t even say the name Joey Lawrence out loud without saying that w-word, and that his new status as a male stripper only makes the use of that word more hilariously apropos.
But I must not give into temptation. I must not succumb. I must ...
Shoot. I knew I couldn’t do it.
(Thanks to longtime and highly valued Celebritology reader byoolin for making sure I did not miss this crucial piece of entertainment news.)