Robb Stark. (Helen Sloan /HBO)

In the next two weeks, we should expect battles, battles and more battles between the remaining king wannabes for the Iron Throne.

With that in mind, we turn to “The Prince of Winterfell,” a low-key episode that allowed a few sibling dynamics to play out before all heck breaks loose in Westeros.

First, there’s some big news.

Robb Stark and the pretty nurse finally kissed.

After what felt like an eternity of Robb and Lady Alyssa Talisa flirting over amputated limbs about how noble and handsome they are, the two finally took off their clothes, did the deed and confessed that they have crushes on each other. Not in that order.

But it wasn’t all sunshine and nurse kisses for Robb. Aside from the fact that he has a fiancee he’s never seen and now wants to dump, the King of the North was forced to put his mom on time-out for letting Jaime Lannister escape.

Lady Stark released Jaime, guarded by Brienne, in order to protect Sansa, who is in King’s Landing, and Arya, who she believes is there. Why in the world Cat would think Jaime “Don’t Trust Me I’m Going To Betray You” Lannister would stay true to his word is beyond me.

Of course, Arya is not at King’s Landing, she’s at Harrenhal with Lord Tywin. Or at least she was. While Lady Stark was betraying Robb, Arya used that glorious brain of hers to trick Jaqen into quite a deal to help her brother. Using her third-murder chip, she told Jaqen to either die (“A man can go kill himself”) or help her escape so she can warn Robb that Lord Tywin is coming his way.

With Arya on his side, I’d say Robb’s chances at victory are greatly improved.

On the opposite end of the sibling love spectrum, we had Tyrion and Cersei. The queen regent attempted to make good on her promise to hurt someone Tyrion loves, as well as ensure Joffrey’s safety, by taking his lady friend captive. But as we quickly saw, Cersei has the wrong woman.

Is this the most we’ve seen Cersei smile? When she’s exacting revenge on her brother by beating up some poor, innocent prostitute? If Cersei could stop daydreaming about Jaime and plotting to keep her terrible offspring alive, she might realize that King’s Landing is about to be under siege. This is not the time for a fight with her baby brother.

Perhaps the most interesting sibling interaction this week was between Yara and Theon, the acting Prince of Winterfell. Yara arrived in the North to take Theon back to the Iron Islands and scold him about killing the Stark boys. But she also showed Theon some tenderness, saying that as a baby he cried so much she wanted to kill him. (Let me finish!) But then he looked at her and he stopped. “Don’t die so far from the sea,” Yara told Theon, giving him a drop of the sweet family love he so desires.

Of course, Theon didn’t listen and remained in Winterfell, where his quasi-brother Robb’s wrath will surely find him.


— As I predicted last week, Bran and Rickon aren’t dead, thank goodness. They are right under Theon’s nose in the tombs at Winterfell.

— Ygritte helped spare Jon Snow from being gutted, which is good news for Jon, who presumably needs his internal organs to live. But things still look pretty bleak for the Night’s Watchman. He remains a captive (and a virgin).

Daenerys still doesn’t have her dragons back. While Ser Jorah is pretty worried about retrieving the baby beasts from the warlock, Daenerys seemed rather confident that her magical powers would get her scaly children back.