A weekly assessment of “Glee,” based on its musical numbers.
The “I Kissed a Girl” episode of “Glee” picked up where we left off two weeks ago, right after Santana slapped Finn for outing her in the halls of McKinley High.
One might assume that the slappage would have been part one in a season-long rivalry between Finn and Santana. But no. While she called Finn a few choice names (my personal favorite was Fetus Face), Santana ultimately forgave the football player because he was ridiculously understanding. So understanding, in fact, that he spearheaded Lady Music Week, an effort to make Santana accept her sexual orientation via a celebration of chick music.
Of course, that wasn’t the only thing that happened on this week’s episode of “Glee": Coach Beiste got her heart broken when her football recruiter boyfriend was stolen by Sue Sylvester, who was back in fine, vindictive catchphrase-spewing form; all the election subplots were tied up remarkably quickly; Rachel got in major trouble for stuffing ballot boxes and has (gasp!) been banned from competing in sectionals; and Quinn Fabray continued to behave in an irrational manner that has no connection with reality, even the only vaguely authentic reality typically portrayed on “Glee.”
But enough about all that. Let’s get to the music, which was decent but not as strong as it was in the “Mash Off” episode.
More “Glee” by the musical numbers:
Blaine and Kurt: “Perfect”
In the first of several “it’s okay to be gay” numbers directed at Santana, Blaine and Kurt did their usual impossibly-cute-performance routine, this time to this Pink hit. It was reliably Darren Criss-tastic if not particularly exciting. Grade: B.
Puck: “I’m the Only One”
It was surprisingly good to hear this Melissa Etheridge song again. And Puck did it a reasonable amount of justice, what with his masculine guitar strumming and pointed googly glances at Shelby. But part of me wanted to see one of the girls rock out to this one instead. Grade: B-.
Finn: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”
This very slow take on a Cyndi Lauper classic was so melancholy I almost didn’t recognize it. A brave choice and one that culminated with some emotional tear shedding by Santana, but as with most Finn numbers, not terribly compelling. Also, what was up with the kid with the violin? Grade: C.
Coach Beiste: “Jolene”
I loved that “Glee” chose to do something as country-cool as this Dolly Parton number, which made a previous appearance on “The Glee Project.” I also loved that Dot Jones got the opportunity to do a solo. But the execution felt emotionally flat, especially since Beiste was nursing a major broken heart for Cooter Menkins. Grade: C.
Santana and the girls: “I Kissed a Girl”
This musical celebration of female-on-female affection was definitely the liveliest, most enjoyable number of the night. Granted, it felt like the 85th time we’ve seen a Katy Perry cover on “Glee.” But when something works, work it, ladies. Grade: A.
Santana, Shelby and Kurt: “Constant Craving”
Some nice harmonizing on this K.D. Lang adult-contemporary favorite also provided a means to braid together several separate plot strands — Santana’s desire for acceptance, Shelby’s lingering feelings for Puck and Kurt’s yearning to get into NYATA. Not stunning, but certainly strong. Grade: B+.
Now it’s up to you to rank this week’s “Glee” musical numbers from best to worst.