He’s also an occasional movie critic for the Paris Review, most recently penning a combined review of “The Descendants” and the film that refuses to be ignored, “Twilight: Breaking Dawn — Part 1.” Guess which one we’ll be focusing on.
He declares that the latest “Twilight” will “dominate every MTV award category, including best kiss, best dude moment, best male shirtless scene, and whatever else the network that produces the ‘Jersey Shore’ celebrates.” He, of course, would not know what else that might be.
Franco’s description of the much hyped honeymoon scene is rather blunt (and not suitable for work). He calls Bella’s C-section via vampire teeth “some perverse adolescent game of doctor” and Jacob’s ripped werewolf body “disturbingly developed,” an assessment I’m sure some Twihards would disagree with.
There are some decent jokes in the review, like, “[Bella] dies in childbirth. But not to worry! She can be saved by being turned into a vampire, a recourse not available to most teen moms.”
But there’s also a glaring spelling error, leading me to believe he didn’t have an editor: “Edward can’t kiss Bella because he is afraid that he will get so excited he’ll loose control of himself and suck her blood.”
Perhaps better than the review itself are the mini-reviews of the review in the comments section. There are lovers — “BEST REVIEW …THUMBS UP JAMES:) LOVE IT” — and detractors — “this article reads like the one page essays I had to write every Friday in 8th grade english.”
Everyone’s a critic.