Katie Rogers, a social media producer for the Post, provides this recap of last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore,” in which Deena seeks romance and Snooki is not happy about The Situation situation.
For starters, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Ron Ortiz-Magro bond over a glass of wine as they examine the problem that has essentially fueled the show’s popularity for the past two seasons: Ron and Sammi “Sweatheart” Giancola’s epically messy, unreconciled relationship.
“We gotta do it right this time,” Ron says about taking it slow with his ex.
But before we can see what plays out with Ron and Sam, our focus snaps to Deena Cortese, the only single lady in the “Shore” crew. While the other women are focused on their chosen mates, Deena goes after a cute-but-thin “Lean Cuisine” of a local waiter.
“He actually speaks well English,” Deena remarks after scoring his number.
Her Italian love story is short-lived, though: After Paul “DJ Pauly D” DelVecchio and Vinny Guadagnino raucously try to ruin Deena’s drunken make-out session, the waiter escapes under the cover of night. Don’t feel too bad for her, though: Deena soon gets the chance for love, or something like it, when she taps into Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s stash of [female] American college students.
Speaking of Mike, he’s enjoying regular hook-ups with a student named Brittany — and has high hopes for her twin sister, too — until his hopes for a threesome (that’s “terzetto” in Italian) are thwarted by Deena’s interest in Brittany’s twin. But his focus quickly switches from lust to survival mode when Snooki discovers he’s been telling all of Florence the two hooked up while she was with her similarly pint-sized beau, Jionni. Hell hath no furry like a scorned Snooki; apparently the people at Abercrombie & Fitch aren’t the only ones unhappy with the Sitch this week.
This episode is already full of more twists and turns than a carnival ride in Seaside Heights, so let’s throw in one more before we wrap up: Ron and Sam are back together, and it’s immediately clear that the roommates are praying to the patron saint of Florence that this situation goes smoothly.
“We set ourselves back months and months of progress,” Vinny said.
Are you listening, John the Baptist?
Should we start taking bets on how long this go-round will last? Did Snooki really cheat on her boyfriend with Mike? Tell us what you think in the comments below and by using #Snookinalysis on Twitter.