Katie Rogers, a social media producer for the Post, provides this recap of last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore,” in which, to the shock of virtually no one, Sammi and Ronnie get into an argument.
This episode of “Jersey Shore” begins in the tired fashion of the past two uneventful installments: We find the gang regrouping after a sloppy night out. The guys rehash the shenanigans that went down after an attempted threesome somehow devolved into one giant communication failure involving Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, Deena Cortese, a pair of American twins and Vinny Guadagnino. And, for their part, the girls discuss how to properly punish Mike for claiming he hooked up with a taken Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi.
The stage is set for growing inter-roommate tension as Snooki calls home and reveals Mike’s lie to her boyfriend. That’s pretty uneventful, but once the group sits down to their traditional Sunday dinner, things get slightly more entertaining.
“Award. Weird,” Mike says of the dinner, just before letting out a long belch. (This line, burp included, perhaps sums up the entire season so far.)
After dinner, Paul “DJ Pauly D” DelVecchio and Vinny drag Deena’s bed out into the hallway in order to reprimand her for getting in the way of their frequent one-night stands. Deena then has an anxiety attack, but once the boys persuade Deena to be a “team player” again and force her to apologize for depriving Vinny of sex, all is forgiven.
And it’s clear that Vinny needs all of the team players he can get: When he tries to flirt using what he calls the “International Language of Love” (broken Italian) on an attractive Italian woman, she replies in equally broken English: “Vinny! I don’t want to screw you.”
Meanwhile, in between taking his on-again girlfriend on romantic dates, Ron Ortiz-Magro is putting all of the elements into place for his first big fight of the season with Sammi “Sweatheart” Giancola.
“It would be way better if you were here,” Ron can be overheard saying over the phone to Hannah, a girl from back home he’s promised to fly out to Florence. Sure enough, after too many drinks out at the club, the couple begins to fight over the usual were-you-flirting-with-that-girl drunken nonsense.
“She don’t [expletive] deserve me,” Ron says of Sam shortly after arriving home. That’s probably true, but before we can examine the situation, he’s destroying Sam’s belongings and getting into a cliffhanger-style physical altercation with Mike — who, by the way, may or may not have exposed Sammi to Ron’s cheating ways.
So assess the “Jersey Shore” damage so far. What will Mike’s face look like in the next episode, which airs Sunday night before the MTV Video Music Awards? Tell us what you think in the comments below and by using #Snookinalysis on Twitter.