Lady Gaga. (NICKY LOH/REUTERS)

Lady Gaga’s music video for “You and I” has arrived online, two days before it’s slated to make its debut on MTV.

There are at least 77 weird things going on in this video that are destined to pop up in your most surreal nightmares in the near future. So I’ll just draw attention to three highlights.

1. Gaga assumes multiple identities here, including one that involves being a mermaid who, as best as I could tell from the rapid-fire editing, is able to have sex with hot guys. That is so not how I remember things working in “Splash.”

2. Gaga and her dancers also perform in what appears to be the same barn Kevin Bacon danced in during “Footloose.”

3. At one point Gaga makes out with her alter ego, Jo Calderone. Which essentially means that Lady Gaga gets to make out with herself. Narcissism — it’s never looked artier!

Watch the clip below.