Every year it’s the same. We ask Santa Claus to bring us 32 additional installments of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet,” the music video series that introduced us to the hip-hopera genre, as well as the power of extremely literal song lyrics. And each year, Santa lets us down.
Well, hold up. Because R. Kelly says he actually has 32 new chapters in the saga of adultery, unexpected lesbian relationships, little people who hide in cabinets and cliffhanger lines like “I’m sorry, girl, but that ho was me,” that are ready to roll. (You’ve forgotten all of this since 2007, when the 22nd “Closet” segment came out, haven’t you? Oh, refresh your memory, people.)
“I’ve got 32 more chapters that I’m trying to put out now,” Kelly tells a TMZ videographer, who can barely contain her excitement about this news. The problem, of course, is that Kelly says he needs the financing to make it happen. This being Christmas, I am sure someone will step up to contribute to this worthwhile cause.
Or to put it another way: R. Kelly is at the closet. Now he’s opening the closet. All he needs is the money to show the world the rest of what’s in the closet.
While we wait for the budget to come together for “Trapped in the Closet: An Unexpected Journey,” I’d like us all to reflect on the following statement that R. Kelly made during this same interview: “‘Trapped in the Closet’ is like an alien, that’s what I always tell people.” Please post a comment and attempt to explain what you think he means by this.
I’d also like to raise this question: At what point will “Glee” do a “Trapped in the Closet” episode? Let’s all hope the answer to that is very, very soon.