“Star Wars” fans have endured many indignities over the years, most of which have been duly noted and groused about in documentary films, chat rooms and on various other online platforms since the Internet was invented.
The never-ending controversy about whether or not Greedo shot first (we all know he didn’t even if George Lucas doesn’t); Darth Vader screaming “Noooooo!” in a Blu-ray release of the saga; the existence of Jar Jar Binks — these and other incidents have tested the faith of the “Star Wars” community over the years.
But ladies and gentlemen of the Jedi Council, I must warn you: None of those things will make you hang your head in intergalactic shame like what you are about to see.
Yes, that is Han Solo. And yes, he is doing a video game version of shaking his thing while C-3PO and R2D2 look on in obvious droid horror.
The above screen shot and the YouTube video below, found via Geekologie, come from one of the features on the new “Kinect Star Wars,” an XBox game designed to physically implant players inside the “Star Wars” universe.
The main point of the game is to let regular people use the Force and wield light sabers to battle Darth Vader (awesome!). But one of its sections, called Galactic Dance-Off, also allows Jabba the Hut’s prisoners — like Solo and Princess Leia — to throw down moves in “Dance Central”/“Just Dance” fashion. (Um. What?)
And that’s why, for the first time ever, Han Solo not only can be seen doing the Trash Compactor, but doing it in sync to “I’m Han Solo,” which (duh) is set to the tune of Jason Derulo’s “Ridin’ Solo.”
“I’m pickin’ up my blaster/put it on my side/Jumping in my Falcon/Wookie at my side”? I can almost hear Chewbacca’s growl-cackling right now.
But before you assume this is as low as things can go, at least in terms of video games that force beloved sci-fi characters to do the shoulder-wipe move, think again. Because “Kinect Star Wars” also features Stormtroopers and — and! — Boba Fett dancing to “YMCA.” Wait, I’m sorry. This version of the disco hit is called “Empire Today.”
So, just to clarify, George Lucas won’t allow “The Star Wars Holiday Special” to be released on DVD, but Microsoft got permission to host “Lando-palooza: The Ultimate Star Wars Rave”? I mean, at least the Christmas episode can be explained away with one important fact: It was the 1970s. There’s no excuse for this sort of thing in 2012.
On the bright side, this should officially end the debate about who shot first. The answer: Everyone who bought “Kinect Star Wars” and encountered the Han Solo dance.