While political junkies are fixated on the candidates in the Republican presidential primary race, we at Celebritology are focusing our attention on a pair of equally important office seekers.
As avid TV viewers know, Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) of Fox’s “Glee” has announced her intention this season to run for Congress in her home state of Ohio. Meanwhile, another Midwestern woman — Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) of NBC’s “Parks and Recreation” — has also declared her plans to pursue a City Council seat in the (fake) town of Pawnee, Ind.
Let’s forget, for the moment, that these two candidates are pursuing different offices in different states and are both, technically, fictional. If you had a choice between electing Sylvester, a cheerleading coach who is a forceful leader and expert insulter of Will Schuester’s hair, and Knope, a devoted public servant who knows how to throw one heck of a Harvest Festival, whom would you choose?
Let’s compare the candidates and do the only logical thing one can do when discussing pop cultural political races: put this thing to a vote.
Sue Sylvester: Pro-reduction of health-care costs. Anti-arts in public schools.
Leslie Knope: Still somewhat vague. But based on an episode from season two, we do know she is pro-gay marriage between penguins. And based on her admiration for Hillary Clinton and Madeleine Albright, she is also, presumably, a Democrat.
CAMPAIGN SOUND BITES
Sue Sylvester: “If you’d like your teenager to join the glee club or play a doorman in a boring four-hour play about what it’s like to be a middle-aged gay New Yorker, pay for it yourselves. But until Ohio’s kids can compete again, it won’t be on the taxpayer dime.”
Leslie Knope: “Friends, honored guests, Pawneeans: I am Leslie Knope and I am running for City Council.”
Sue Sylvester: Speak rudely and carry a coach’s whistle. Also, when appropriate, vogue.
Leslie Knope: Solve every problem, no matter how big or small, by analyzing it on paper and organizing that paper into numerous binders.
Sue Sylvester: Has successfully led the McKinley High Cheerios to victories at numerous cheerleading competitions. Organized the glee club-sabotaging League of Doom (which, for the record, didn’t really sabotage anything).
Leslie Knope: As deputy director of the Pawnee Department of Parks and Recreation, she organized a fantastic Harvest Festival and a touching tribute concert to the late, beloved miniature horse Li’l Sebastian.
POTENTIAL SKELETONS IN THEIR CLOSETS
Sue Sylvester: Briefly dated a news anchor on the program where she routinely does her “That’s How Sue C’s It” commentaries. Also berates young people on a regular basis.
Leslie Knope: Was dating her boss, Deputy City Manager Ben Wyatt, until about five seconds before launching her campaign. Also spends a little too much time at the Snakehole Lounge.
CELEBRITOLOGY’S SUGGESTED CAMPAIGN SLOGANS
Sue Sylvester: “Got a song in your heart? Then screw you. Vote Sue.”
Leslie Knope: “The audacity of Knope.”
So based on what you know at this stage in both seasons, who makes the more viable candidate? Cast your vote below. (Note: we will continue to track the approval ratings of Sylvester and Knope as “Glee” and “Parks and Rec” episodes progress.)