Hungry, Hungry Hippos is becoming a movie. Seriously. The game with the plastic hippos that try to scarf up marbles, at least until the hippos invariably dislodge themselves from their plastic levers because they are cheaply made pieces of junk.


The L.A. Times has reported that Hasbro, the toy company that specializes in spawning movies based on its products, has partnered with an independent production company called Emmett/Furla to turn three of its diversions into films: Hungry Hungry Hippos, Monopoly and Action Man. Monopoly has been in the works for a while, and Action Man sort of sounds like a movie, or at least no more ridiculous than “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.” But Hungry Hungry Hippos? What could the plot possibly be, and how will it not dovetail with the parody trailers for a Hungry Hungry Hippos movie that already exist on YouTube?

The people attempting to make “Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Quickening” (suggested title for the horror version) have only said they plan to adapt the delightful alternative to the waiting game into an animated feature for children.

Because, you know, “Taken 3: The Hungry Hungry Hippos Now Have Liam Neeson’s Relatives in Custody, and We’re Not Even Joking” just seemed too been-there, done-that.

Now, I was just as skeptical about the concept of making “Battleship” into a movie. And I turned out to be one of five people in this country who thought that once you involve Tim Riggins and some amazing special effects, “Battleship” actually makes for a decent action flick.

But “The Hungry Hungry Hippos Eat the Oogieloves Before They Can Go on Their Balloon Adventure”? I just don’t know, guys. I just don’t know.