Still. Not. Divorced. (Evan Agostini/AP)

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries? They got divorced months ago, didn’t they?

Uh, no. Technically, on paper, that marriage remains valid. Which is why, as noted in today’s morning mix, a status hearing in their divorce case was scheduled to take place today in L.A. Superior Court. That hearing took place a short time ago. And based on an Associated Press report, it revealed five key points about the marriage that seemed to end last Halloween but is, in fact, still going on.

1. Kardashian and Humphries may not officially be divorced until next year, possibly before Memorial Day.

To briefly refresh your memory, Kardashian filed for a traditional divorce, while Humphries is seeking an annulment predicated on the fact that the whole marriage was a fraud. That disagreement has prolonged matters for reasons that may involve some combination of celebrity stubbornness, legal issues and a desire to continue milking publicity out of this situation. In any case, according to the AP, Judge Stephen Moloney said “he thinks the case can still be resolved by next May.” Next May? Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise got this thing done in less than two weeks. What’s the hold-up?? Kardashian and Humphries didn’t even know each other long enough to have festering resentments that can’t be resolved in less time than it takes to sneeze.

2. The delay is either Humphries fault or it’s the fault of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.

Kardashian attorney Laura Wasser said Humphries is the problem, because his representation is resorting to legal tactics that are prolonging the divorce. But Humphries attorney Marshall Waller said lawyers for Kardashian’s boyfriend, Kanye West, and the crew of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” are being totally uncooperative. And yes, for the record, the fact that these attorneys have almost the same last name is only confusing matters further.

3. At this point, I must note that someone tried to serve Kanye West a subpoena in a Nordstrom box.

I’m guessing that Humphries’s team was hoping he’d open it thinking it was a clandestine shipment of new Air Yeezys, and then realize he got served. I can’t wait to hear the song ‘Ye writes about that one.

4. This. Thing. Could. Go. to. Trial.

Waller said that if Humphries continues with his fraud argument, the divorce may require a two-week trial before it’s resolved. Go ahead and set a reminder to record the inevitable live E! broadcast, “Keeping Up With the Kardashian Divorce Trial.”

5. Don’t worry. There’s more to come..

The judge scheduled a follow-up hearing for Nov. 28—which is good. If they resolve this before the holidays, Kanye can feel free to open any Nordstrom boxes he receives this Christmas without worry or fear.