We’ve covered plenty of MTV Movie Awards territory in the blog today, what with the Johnny Depp-nificence, and the whole “Twilight”/ “Hunger Games”/“Harry Potter” conflict, and the three must-see moments of the evening, and the assessment of its fashions.
But even after reading all of these posts — otherwise known as service journalism of the highest order — you may still have some lingering questions about last night’s ceremony.
I intend to put those questions, and the 2012 MTV Movie Awards as a whole, to bed by answering them via the following FAQ, which is not only educational but also allows me to fully justify the two hours I spent watching the MTV Movie Awards.
What the heck happened to Mila Kunis when she and Mark Wahlberg presented the first award of the night, for best onscreen dirtbag?
A heckler in the audience yelled something at Kunis. I rewound my DVR multiple times and surveyed fellow tweeters to see if anyone could make out what he said, but his words were too unintelligible for me or anyone else to decipher. Wahlberg assumed his protective, tough guy posture and strongly implied that the dude should shut it. Presumably that guy saw “Fear,” because he did: According to Celebuzz, he was escorted out of the ceremony.
Was host Russell Brand really as bad as I thought he was?
No, he was worse. If you’re going to make tasteless jokes, they need to be clever, laugh-out-loud hilarious or, preferably, both. Brand’s were none of the above. His bon mots about Michael Fassbender’s, uh, member were already told with more wit and class by George Clooney at the Golden Globes several months ago. (Even Charlize Theron, who sat next to her “Prometheus” co-star, just looked at Fassbender and said “Wow” as Brand prattled on about his girth.) His gags about Charlie Sheen’s drug habit seemed wildly hypocritical given Brand’s own experience and outspokenness about fellow famous addicts. And his tendency to yell “Twilight!” “Hunger Games!” was the MTV Movie Awards 2012 equivalent of “Uma. Oprah,” except that the first time Letterman said that at the 1995 Oscars it was a little bit funny.
Was the tribute to party movies — which emphasized beer, babes and barfing — inappropriate for a show that targets teens and preteens?
Was anyone annoyed that Charlie Sheen was there?
Patton Oswalt seemed to be, and even referred to the late Adam Yauch to voice his irritation on Twitter. “MTV: ‘member how MCA said, ‘More respect to women’ on your network?” he tweeted during the broadcast. “Good stuff. Nice seeing Charlie Sheen on your [expletive] award show.”
After jokingly rubbing herself against half the cast of “Magic Mike,” winner Elizabeth Banks quipped that her husband was probably “really upset with me right now.” Then the camera cut to a guy in the audience chuckling. Was that really Elizabeth Banks’s husband?
No. Her husband, producer and writer Max Handelman, was the guy in the seat on the other side of her. The man captured on camera looked a lot like Banks’s agent, Billy Lazarus, who also reps Mark Ruffalo, Benedict Cumberbatch and Idris Elba.
Did Kristen Stewart say something snarky about Jennifer Lawrence?
When she and her “Snow White and the Huntsman” co-star Chris Hemsworth presented the best female performance award, Lawrence — Stewart’s alleged rival for coveted roles and YA movie supremacy — was named the winner. But she couldn’t attend because she is in Prague shooting the movie “Serena.”
“She couldn’t be here, which is such a bummer, what?” Stewart said, adding that Lawrence had recorded a thank you message, which Stewart described as “awesome.” So either Stewart was being snarky, then tried to cover it up, or she was just being funny and failed, or — option C — it doesn’t matter and we should focus our time and attention on more important issues.
Yes, I’ll go with C.