In the penultimate episode, no Tommy, no ghost lady, no Maxine, no Hoyt, very little Terry and Arlene, and, by complete coincidence, the pace definitely benefits.

Inside the Moon Goddess Emporium and Home for Wayward Witches

First, giving credit where it is due -- Jesus and Lafayette’s trip to Mexico to activate their supernatural superpowers actually pays off! Okay, it pays off because they’re being held captive and they’re acted upon rather than using them in a particularly proactive way, but still! Progress!

Marnie and Antonia have a little spat after Marnie kills one of her followers who wanted to leave. You know what’s generally a clear indicator that you’ve gone too far? When the 400-year old spirit of the dead necromancer that’s been possessing you is all “You’ve gone to far,” you’ve probably gone to far.

Marnie disagrees and binds Antonia’s spirit to her. Sookie empathizes with Marnie finally having power after feeling different all her life and tries to reason with her, Marnie’s too far gone on her power trip. When Marnie tries to get the vampires to kill themselves again, Sookie is able to disrupt her control of the it with fairy powers.

Jesus and Lafayette get some alone time in a storeroom with the corpse of Marnie’s dead follower. How big is the Moon Goddess Emporium and Home for Wayward Witches anyway? It just seems like an inefficient amount of space to lease for a spell shop and worship center in Shreveport. It makes the Magic Box look like a mall kiosk.

Anyway, Jesus casts a spell to bring back his lucha libre mask, and also separate Antonia’s spirit from Marnie, bringing down the spell that was keeping the vampires out of the shop.

Outside the Moon Goddess Emporium and Home for Wayward Witches

Jason warns Bill and Eric that they can’t blow up the shop because Sookie is inside. Now, I buy that Jason has just been waiting there until dark because he couldn’t think of anything better to do. But how does he even know she’s in there? He just saw her disappear at the end of last episode.

Regardless, he’s correct, and there’s a funny scene where Eric and Bill both curse Sookie for interfering yet again, and Jason rightly calls them out for only minding her interference when it doesn’t suit their purposes.

They can’t go into the store because Marnie’s spell keeps out humans, but is based on sunlight and deadly to vampires. Marnie appears and tells them she’ll let Sookie go if Eric and Bill kill themselves. They totally agree because they are soooooo in love with Sookie. Pam is having none of it, and shoots a rocket at the building before they can kill themselves.

Eric is furious with Pam and sends her away, Jason gets blown up real good and has to drink even more of Jessica’s blood (surely no negative repercussions there.) Marnie takes control of them and tries to drag them all into the sunshield, leading to some hilarious “mimes walking against the wind” work by the actors.

Sookie frees them from the spell, Jesus and Lafayette bring down the store’s candy coating, Eric performs some comedic heart surgery on one of Marnie’s followers, the one who looks like a poor man’s Steve Zahn, and then they shoot her up real good.

All is well until later that night when, just as he’s about to settle into a well-deserved rest, Lafayette gets possessed by Marnie’s ghost. Twist!


- Sam beats the snot out of Marcus but leaves him alive. As Marcus tries to shoot Sam in the back, Alcide gets all alpha dog and knocks him down, grabbing him by the throat and killing him. Judging by the look on Alcide’s face, I think we’re supposed to consider the death to be accidental, right? Then he utters the Wolf Man Divorce Curse and splits up with Debbie, though I’m not a werewolf lawyer or anything, so who is to say how legally binding that is. Still, big night for Alcide.

- Andy stumbles across one of the fairy folk while walking home from Fort Belvoir, sleeps with her and promises to be her protector. Surely no negative repercussions to come there, either.