Snookie Stackhouse: Siren, sister, terrible waitress (HBO/HBO)

Sookie loves vampires and they love her too

Last things first, let’s just get this out of the way: Sookie and Eric finally do it, having sweet swamp sex as the episode ends. (Why in a swamp, when Eric could have had them home in a couple of seconds? Because they are just too passionate! Don’t kill the mood with these practicalities.)

Of course, the episode begins with Bill interrupting Eric and Sookie in an amorous, semi-naked moment. Bill takes Eric prisoner, claiming that his bewitchment makes him dangerous and that it totally has nothing to do with Bill being jealous. He tells her it’s a vampire affair and “for once in your life I suggest you stay out of it.” Which, given the number of times he has dragged her into vampire matters is pretty hypocritical, even by Bill standards.

It’s possible Bill is just a tiny bit jealous though, which he exhibits by arranging for Eric to be executed. As he’s about the meet the final death, Eric is all “I deserve to die, just take care of Sookie, she deserves to be happy.” Bill wusses out/feels guilty and lets him go, enabling the aforementioned bayou canoodling.

Sookie the trouble magnet

Sam’s ne’er-do-well brother Tommy accidentally shapeshifts into a double of Sam and decides to run Merlotte’s for the day while pretending to be Sam. (It’s sentences like the previous one that make it hard to take this show seriously sometimes. But I digress.) When Sookie comes running in to say she can’t work her shift because of “a life or death situation,” Sam/Tommy asks, incredulously, “Another one?” And he wasn’t even around for the first two seasons!

He accuses Sookie of taking advantage of Sam and fires her, saying “You almost never show up, and when you do, you almost always drag trouble with you.”

While I hate that it came from the utterly despicable Tommy, it did make me laugh as he kind of has a point about Sookie. While she often has drama inflicted on her by outside forces, her idealism, outspokenness and general busybody nature frequently cause it for her and those close to her often suffer for it.

Also, Sam Trammell is very good pretending to be Tommy pretending to be Sam. Between that and Helena Bonham Carter in “Harry Potter” this month, July 2011 is a watershed month for actors pretending to be another character pretending to be them.

Sookie the good sister

Lots of nice sibling scenes between Jason and Sookie. Sookie goes to Jason’s house after he doesn’t return her calls. (Officer Stackhouse’s voice mail message ends “if this is an emergency, dial 911 and ask for me.”). She finds Jason handcuffed to his bed – his idea of a protective measure in case he turns into a werepanther. “If you turn into a panther, won’t the handcuffs just fall off?” she asks?

Realizing that she has a point, the go out in the yard two have a heart-to-heart. Sookie refuses to shoot him if he turns into a panther, and reminds him that she knows what it’s like to not feel normal, but that there is no such thing as normal and that he doesn’t need to be afraid. “I barely know any regular humans anymore,” she says, cheerfully.

Jason runs off into the woods while Sookie is inside, to protect her from his panther side. Sookie runs into Alcide and Debbie while looking for Jason (crowded swamp), who tell her that you can’t become a were-anything by being bit, you have to be born with it.

Jessica finds Jason freaking out in the wilderness and calms him down. When she says he seems disappointed about not turning into a werepanther, he admits that while he took lots of beating from bullies making fun of Sookie, he was always a little disappointed that she got to be the “special” one and not him.


- Pam’s description of Bill to Eric: “He’s a self-loathing, power-hungry pompous little dork, and you hate his guts.” Agree or disagree? Add your thoughts in the comments.

- Jesus and Lafayette’s Excellent Mexican Adventure: Abuelo Brujo takes the idea of “show, don’t tell” very seriously. Instead of just explaining what’s going on back in Bon Temps, he demonstrates by cutting his arm, bleeding all over the place and then letting a rattlesnake bite Jesus. Lafayette is possessed by the spirit of a healer who saves him. Nelsan Ellis has some very funny lines as Lafayette keeps a running commentary on the craziness going on around him.

- Marnie has another flashback to the Inquisition, an we see Bill’s sheriff Louis raping the witch Antonia. Antonia fully takes over Marnie’s body and when Louis tries to confront her, she takes control of him and forces him to his knees.

Lightning round: Arlene and Terry’s house burned down and baby Mikey sees a ghost; Andy asks out Holly who awkwardly agrees; Tara comes clean about her past to Naomi; Debbie agrees to join the Shreveport werewolf pack, dragging Alcide with her; Tommy, disguised as Sam, sleeps with Luna then kicks her out, thus ruining things for his brother; Niko Case, singer of “I Wish I Was the Moon,” is awesome.