A weekly recap of every gory detail in the latest episode of AMC’s “The Walking Dead.”
In this week’s episode of “The Walking Dead,” entitled “Cherokee Rose,” everyone was attempting to demonstrate signs of hope. The desire to encourage optimism was, in part, what motivated Shane (Jon Bernthal) to fib during Otis’s eulogy regarding the circumstances surrounding the man’s death. (Well, a desire to encourage optimism and the fact that “I shot him in the head so I wouldn’t have to die” just doesn’t sound so great in a eulogizing context.)
It’s what compelled Rick (Andrew Lincoln) to initially tell the recuperating Carl that Sophia is “just fine.” (She’s not. She’s still missing.) And it’s definitely what made Daryl (Norman Reedus) bring that lovely flower called a Cherokee Rose — a symbol of a mother’s hope in the face of despair — to Carol (Melissa McBride) and tell her that her missing little girl will, despite all evidence to the contrary, return to her.
Some other important stuff happened, too, including Hershel’s decision to consider letting Rick’s people stay on the farm as long as they “honor his rules” (rules that, I suspect, include staying the heck away from the barn) and Lori’s realization that — major spoiler alert — she is pregnant.
Who’s the father? We don’t know for certain yet. I strongly encourage you to discuss that issue and more in the comments section. Because right now, I want to turn my attention to that reliable, irresistible, undisputed go-to-town expert named Glenn (Steve Yeun). Because if the “Cherokee Rose” episode proved anything, it is this: Glenn is a total stallion.
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Glenn is the personification of the phrase git ‘er done. Need someone to spread guts all over himself in order to walk undetected through a flotilla of zombies? Glenn’s on it. Want to send someone on the equivalent of a horseback CVS run? Glenn’s your guy. And if someone has to become bait for a walker that looks like the bloated, zombie-fied equivalent of the Michelin Man, look no further than G-to-the-l-to-the-e-double-n.
Glenn is basically the “Walking Dead” equivalent of Mikey: when the metaphorical Life cereal needs to get eaten, he’s ready to report for duty, with a spoon in hand and a look of abject terror on his face. He has assumed this role without much choice in the matter, but he has done so with a certain quiet, occasionally petrified, baseball-cap-wearing dignity that makes him admirable. And, apparently to one Maggie Greene, a little bit sexy.
When Lori asked Glenn to pick up a personal item during his trip to the abandoned pharmacy, he didn’t understand what she had written down. Of course, we later realized that the brand she had requested was True Blue. Really, Glenn? You don’t know that True Blue means a pregnancy test? Ah, but I cannot chide Glenn for his relative inexperience navigating the feminine hygiene aisle because his subsequent behavior more than compensated for his ignorance.
And that brings us to the Michelin Man Zombie Scene, a scene that made me sing a variation of the signature song from “The Simpsons” episode “Radio Bart”: “We’re sending our Glenn down the well/All the way dow-own/We’re sending our Glenn down the well/Down that well!”
Indeed, the “Walking Dead” gang found a nasty walker in one of the farm’s wells, and to keep him from further contaminating the water supply, the only option (obviously) was to tie some rope around Glenn’s waist and send the good ‘ol problem solver down the hole to lasso himself a zombie.
Naturally, the support for the rope gave out and poor Glenn went flying closer and closer to the meat claws of the pruny Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. He screamed. He flailed mightily. The rest of the group struggled like Gabe Kaplan’s team in a tug o’ war match-up on “Battle of the Network Stars.” But eventually they heaved Glenn back up to level ground in one piece.
Dale suggested they’d have to go back to the drawing board. But then — in a show of total stallionness that made Shane’s head-shaving moment from last week look like nothing more than a pretty girl makeover — Glenn goes, “Says you.” And then we realize that amid all the screaming and flailing, Glenn managed to lasso himself a zombie that vaguely resembled Michael Chiklis as The Thing in “The Fantastic Four.” I mean, come on. That’s some serious Indiana Jones stuff right there.
Of course, the bloated freak accidentally got torn in half in a spray of zombie goop and entrails (yuck) that ended up contaminating the water anyway. But dang, Glenn came out of that smelling like ... well, probably smelling like a wet, revolting walker. But he sounded cool.
(Note: The clip below contains some gross zombie gore.)
And perhaps that’s why Maggie threw herself at him once they got to that drugstore, even though his pick-up line was basically, “Oops, I’m embarrassed because I’m holding a box of condoms while looking for a pregnancy test, which I technically can’t tell you about, and I really don’t want to have sex, I swear ... heh heh ... awkward pause.” I think we can all agree that the largely empty shelves of an abandoned drug store during a zombie-pocalypse are not exactly aphrodisiac material. But that didn’t stop Maggie from whipping off her clothes and getting down to some serious Glenn business.
Sure, she later said it was a “one time thing.” But it seems pretty clear that she’s got a bad case of the Glenns and a burning desire for another taste of go-to-town expert. And really, can you blame her?
Glenn, you are an inspiration, a hero, apparently a halfway decent lover, an excellent keeper of pregnancy test secrets and amazingly adept at rope-tying under duress. And for that, we salute you.