There has been a problem at Camp Phoenix, the U.S. military base on the outskirts of Kabul. The problem is the entertainment.

The TV and movie selections have apparently not been to the brass’s liking as of late. Too many programs that contain “nudity, sexual content, graphic violence and activities that are not in good standing with Army values,” according to a newly released policy memo from a commanding officer.

So, the memo continues, there will be new guidelines for what is acceptable entertainment when it comes to “MWR,” the military’s acronym for “morale, welfare, and recreation.”

In the gym, all TVs will now be set to channels that play only news or sports-oriented activities or shows. At the outdoor theater, movie selections must be discussed at MWR meetings ahead of time.

“If any movies selected happen to have small ‘clips’ of the previously mentioned material,” the policy memo says, “the movie should be advertised or posted as such, stating the proper ‘rating’ and warning of such material.”

Lastly, as for those events like the “Black and White Ball” and the “Valentine’s Dance,” there will be no civilian clothing.

No word yet on the reaction from the troops. We do, however, seem to recall reading something recently about morale slipping just a smidgen in Afghanistan.