Allison Stewart: If it’s a column on politics, I’d nominate Steve Earle. He can write (he’s got a book!) and seems pretty well-versed in these matters. If it’s an advice column, I’d suggest an awesome old blueswoman like Sippie Wallace. Wait. Google informs me that Sippie Wallace is long dead. What about Bonnie Raitt? She’s not old, but she seems wise. She would probably give great honey-you’re-too-good-for-him type answers, and tell stories about when she was married to the guy from “Roseanne.” I always liked them together.
David Malitz: It’s too easy to say that I’d want to read a column by Stephen Malkmus writing about the NBA, so I’ll come up with another. Ghostface Killah posted a handful of hygiene tips on Twitter last fall, and while his language might not cut it for Good Housekeeping, the man knows how to dish out some advice. If he can be this entertaining while talking about showering and brushing your teeth, I’d be ready to read his thoughts on everything from dating to dining to dieting.
Chris Richards: Malitz, you mentioned Twitter, which made me wonder why we would ever need any rock star to ever write a column ever again. The answer: editors. Courtney must have a good one at Jane. Bob Mould told me he had a great editor when he used to write that cool advice column for the Washington City Paper. And who’s the most fascinating person on Twitter that I refuse to follow because of his inability to self-edit? That would be Lil B, a rapper whose self-esteem building advice to high school graduates, dietary tips and commentary on the environment I would love to see fleshed out beyond 140 characters each week.