The Washington Post

Beyond the 47 and the 99, the other percents


Occupy Wall Street (just over 1 year old today, still not old enough to vote) speaks of the 99 percent of Americans who do not have Unfathomable Wealth.

But there are so many other percents! Here are a few! The ones not sourced have been guessed to the best of my ability.

-The 28 Percent: People who “might consider” voting for Donald Trump.

-The 16.2 Percent: Americans with herpes.

-The 12 Percent: Americans Who Approve of Congress.

-The 77 Percent: Americans who believe in angels.

-The .00000004ish Percent: Americans who will be killed by a bear this year.

-The 71 Percent: Americans who secretly think it would be hilarious if Ringo were the last surviving Beatle.

-The 38 Percent: Americans who keep showing up in inaccurate statistics.

-The 49.2 Percent: Americans who are not women.

-The 20 Percent: Americans bothered by the fact that they cannot smoke in restaurants.

-The 7 Percent: Americans who should pay income tax but don’t because the forms confused them.

-The 73 Percent: Americans who worry that they are the one friend everyone secretly hates.

-The 27 Percent: Americans who actually are the one friend everyone else secretly hates.

-The Third: Americans who prefer fractions to percents.

-The 60 Percent: Americans who are entirely water.

-The 102 Percent: Americans who do not understand how percentages work.

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day. She is the author of "A Field Guide to Awkward Silences".


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