Michael Grothaus reported for the Unofficial Apple Weblog:
Great. No sooner does President Obama get an iPad, but he’s turned into one of those jerks who has an iPad.
“I’m the president of the United States. You think I’ve got to go borrow somebody’s computer?”
That’s something an iPad owner would say.
The typical iPad guy tends to be a more grandfatherly edition of iPhone guy, the bane of all civilized conversation. “Want me to look that up?” he asks. “Please, I can get the fact really quickly, and then we can watch a great YouTube video on this deceptively large screen.”
“No,” you say. You try to keep the conversation as far away from any kind of fact-provoking speculation as possible. This is hard, and you are relegated to mumbling that “Unicorns are fantastic” and “Boy, do I ever have a lot of feelings, personal feelings the Internet can tell us nothing about!”
The iPad guy is like that, except that he doesn’t carry it to brunch with him, and so when you do have to spend time with the two of them, he wants you to make it the center of attention. You are required to coo and say “Aww, who’s a good iPad, who’s the best iPad?” in a soothing voice. “Wook at that!” you babble. “Does it have a touch skween? Aww, whatabiddle touchskween!”
Then you have to go abruptly lose your lunch in the nearest restroom stall.
Like couples in the honeymoon stages, iPad guy and his iPad are joined at the hip in ways that are embarrassing to those around them. “IPad shared the most fascinating article with me today,” Guy says, glancing over and beaming at it. “Never ceases to fascinate.”
He keeps insisting on how handy it is and “doesn’t it look like the future to you? It looks like the future to me!” “I read all my magazines on it now,” he says, his eyes flickering shut in a moment of reverence. “It’s like we were MADE for each other. I don’t know how I lived without one. I’d never go back to those days.” It’s one of those gadgets — like, for a certain, oddly specific segment of the population, electric breadmakers — that has suddenly become indispensable with a whimsical lower-case i.
And now our president is one of them.
Wasn’t the BlackBerry enough? He fought and struggled and generated all kinds of media attention for RIM, and suddenly he goes and flings himself into the slim, aerodynamic arms of the Apple folks. Now I bet he stops during briefings on national concerns to say things like, “Hold on for a second; look at this interface! Joe, come check out this great interface.”
Sure, it might be a great tool. But if things continue at this rate, he’ll be one, too!