I have never seen a political ad that more closely resembled the trailer for a “Transformers” movie.

I was going to have a quiet Wednesday, but then Rick Perry released this ad and I had to go repent.

This ad makes me worry that Rick Perry cannot tell O's from 0's, which in turn makes me worry that we need to recheck all those job creation numbers.

“Who is this president 0bama?” Perry asks. “Why is there a zero in his name? Aren't letters good enough for that fool? America needs a president with a letter-name, not a number-name.”

The ad scares me.

It's actually the “2012” trailer, but without the waves and wolves because Perry does not believe in man-made global warming.

This would make a great summer blockbuster. I can see sequel potential, and there’s even Shia LaBoeuf-level acting.

But the message is startling.

Is Perry's main selling point really, “It's the Apocalypse, and I am the Only Hope For America?”

Because, frankly, this is not what I was hoping for from my presidential candidates.

“Also, here is some footage of horses!”

Zero Change and Zero Jobs. Thank heavens REAL GOLD-FONT ALL-CAPS AMERICAN Rick Perry is here to turn that trend around. With him in charge, we’ll go from zero change and zero jobs to zero jobs and zero change.

I understand that 2012 is quickly turning into the Political Apocalypse. Everyone is alarmist. The horses are behaving oddly, turning up in political ads for no reason. Gary Johnson will actually be in attendance at Thursday night's debate. Clearly, we live in the End Times.

Harold Camping had nothing on this. After watching the Perry ad, I'm cowering under my desk, repenting with eight different religious texts open on my lap.

I understand that we are in a jobs crisis. But “the last great hope of mankind”? Who’s threatening mankind? I kept expecting a Decepticon to show up in the edge of the frame.

Reading between the lines of the ad, the real challenge we face isn’t job creation, it’s finding a president with the guts to fight off an invasion from Outer Space. Never has a political ad made me more worried that a giant asteroid was about to hit the Earth — unless I voted for an AMERICAN who could FIGHT.

 It's ads like this that make me really hope the Mayans come back in 2012 and take over. They might be less alarmist.