The Washington Post

Some limericks on Osama’s pornography collection

According to the CIA, Osama bin Laden (or some other mysterious resident of his compound) had a collection of, er, adult films stashed on storage drives.

Here are some limericks on the subject — a verse form that seemed most appropriate for this sort of news.

Flicks a jaw-dropping CIA find?

Not at all! This was planned and designed!

In an effort to tide him

Our allies supplied him

“Our hope was that he would go blind.”

What we found there was enough to stagger a

Person, no matter his swagger: a

Video stash

That would tend to abash

But explains all the herbal viagra.

A yearning that burgeons and burgeons

In spite of one’s fightin’ the urgin’s

And fear of requitals:

To guess all the titles

No-Show Girls? Seventy-One Virgins?

In the boardrooms, controversy brewed

’Mongst the folks who sell videos lewd:

Tell the buyers Osama’s

Viewed “72 Mamas”?

Or does that tend to ruin the mood?

Now the government’s left in a fix

Some doubt stories of Osama’s flicks!

Is his erotic friction

A CIA fiction?

Here’s the answer, folks: Show us the pics!

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day. She is the author of "A Field Guide to Awkward Silences".
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