There are spiders in our cars?

Seriously, Mazda is recalling 65,000 cars because they apparently contained nests of yellow spiders.

Really, Mazda?

I don’t know how much safety you can expect from a car company whose slogan makes it sound sort of, well, slow: “Zoom, zoom”? Were all the nouns, adverbs, and adjectives out of town that weekend?

But low as the bar may be, I think America draws the line at SPIDERS IN OUR CARS. Call me an arachnophobe, (is John Goodman in the house?) but I’m not a fan of the little guys. Neither, it would seem, is Broadway, based on what’s happening with the Spiderman musical, although Glenn Beck has seen it multiple times.

But terrifying as this may seem, I’m sure the spiders are not thrilled about this, either. They thought these were cheap, well-located homes. And they turned out to be Mazdas. If I was nesting in something and it turned out to be a Mazda, I’d be ticked, too.