Need a gaffe?

Never fear! You can generate one in no time using this handy diagram!

You’re welcome. (MS Paint)

Just insert remarks like “I want individuals to have their own insurance. That means the insurance company will have an incentive to keep you healthy. It also means that if you don’t like what they do, you could fire them. I like being able to fire people who provide services to me. You know, if someone doesn’t give me the good service I need, I want to say, ‘You know, I'm going to get someone else to provide this service to me.’ ” Out comes “I like being able to fire people.”

And if all else fails, the strategic ellipsis comes through in a pinch. “I have never respected our military more” becomes “I have never respected our military . . . .

But if you’ve gotten all the way down to the bottom of the chart, chances are, he’s already said something else.