The Washington Post

Where Whitey Bulger was all this time

Waldo? (AP)

Here are some possibilities:

• Maintaining an active presence on MySpace.

• In the opening-night audience of “Atlas Shrugged.”

• Standing slightly to the left of Waldo.

• Actually came out of hiding two weeks ago and alerted all the media, but everyone was too focused on Anthony Weiner to notice.

• Just more proof that you don’t exist if you aren’t on Twitter.

• Was in a compound surprisingly close to West Point.

• Hiding on page 290 of the health-care bill.

• Was Raptured by accident 16 years ago and just managed to sort this out.

• An active and vocal supporter of the Gingrich campaign.

• Whenever anyone apprehended him, explained, “No, I just played him on an episode of ‘America’s Most Wanted.’ You wouldn’t believe how often this happens to me.”

• Is one of six people who actually show up to claim those hiking-massage Groupons, startling the proprietors so much that they did not notice his identity.

• Spent the past 16 years pretending to be a lesbian blogger.

• On top of your head the whole time!

Have better ideas?

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day. She is the author of "A Field Guide to Awkward Silences".


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