At 1 p.m. EST, the Doomsday Clock moved another minute closer to midnight.
David Bosco joked on Twitter that it moved “on fears that no one will pay attention to Doomsday Clock if it doesn’t move.”
In theory, the Doomsday Clock is supposed to reflect how close we are to apocalypse, induced by anything from nuclear proliferation to climate change. It is decided by a Very Serious Panel of Very Serious Scientists, and it’s been anywhere from 2 minutes to midnight to 17 minutes to midnight (after the START treaties).
But if there’s one thing that’s true about human beings, it is that we are tremendously bad at predicting when the world is going to end. Consider: We’ve predicted the apocalypse dozens of times — and not been right once.
Here are a few other suggestions for why the clock moved.
1) The Doomsday Scientists were disappointed by Beyonce and Jay-Z’s selection of Blue Ivy as a baby name.
2) The Doomsday Scientists keep showing up exactly a minute late to Doomsday-related events.
3) George Lucas is rereleasing “The Phantom Menace” in 3-D this February. It was only after intense debate that the Doomsday Scientists didn’t just move the hand all the way.
4) It won’t stop Tim Tebow from winning football games, but it’s the only method the Doomsday Scientists have at their disposal of showing disapproval and bewilderment.
5) The Doomsday Scientists don’t actually think the Mayans are coming back to Earth, but, hey, this is supposed to be the year, and it would certainly simplify things.
6) Donald Trump is still thinking of running for president.
7) The “Downton Abbey” season premiere was okay but not quite what the Doomsday Scientists were hoping for.