(Allen Goldberg) This is our local Batman, but you get the idea. This is our local Batman, but you get the idea. (Allen Goldberg)

In other, better news:

In England, Batman has just turned in a wanted fugitive! As reported on the Bradford Police department’s Facebook page, he stated, “I’ve caught this one for you,” and vanished into the night.

I knew he was in Europe after the events of the last movie. But what I didn’t know was that he’d reverted to his vintage suit. The woman who claims to have sold him the suit is refusing to divulge his identity, because Batman is the hero we deserve, but not the one we need right now.

Is this somehow related to the sequester? Have we outsourced one of the iconic American comic book heroes overseas? If so, are there British Jokers wandering around? What’s the British Joker — basically the same but with more irony, less smiling and a more generous use of the letter U?

I knew that practically all the superheroes these days were being played by Brits, from Superman on down to Spider-Man. I suppose it was only a matter of time before BatGent started turning criminals in abroad, while our domestic criminal element had to settle for vigilante arrests by people dressed as Antman and Hawkeye.

Of course, this is probably not a vigilante. This arrest, the police department commented on its Facebook page, is likely the work of the fugitive himself, on whose nearest and dearest the Law had been putting pressure to turn him in. But well done, Batman!

“No assistance from Robin he was outside keeping the Batmobile running we believe,” quipped PCSO Sam Brown of the Bradford Police — Queensbury Royds Wibsey Odsal Buttershaw Woodside NPT on Facebook.