Well, it was a beautiful dream while it lasted.
The OOOOOOOO of legend is no more. The weird loops have been cast out. The mysterious curlicue will not frolic gaily on our currency.
Jack Lew’s official signature as Treasury Secretary has been revealed, and it is not the squiggle we hoped. No, the distinctive series of meaningless loops dubbed the “Loopty Lew” and much praised on the Internet has been supplanted by a more official and grown-up-looking signature.
This is why we can’t have nice things! As I previously wrote in praise of his signature, he could have put proudly on literally anything, because there was no way you could trace the signature to his name.
This is officially a shame. This one actually looks like it might be a name. The name, admittedly, doesn’t look like “Jacob Lew” — to me, it looks like Greal JJen. But it’s still a step in the wrong direction. We cannot say for certain what will happen to the value of our currency as time moves forward. But we could have guaranteed that when people gazed at a dollar bill and started to laugh hysterically, it was because of something we had done on purpose.