Nice hawk. (Image courtesy Sports Illustrated / Clay Patrick McBride, Sports Illustrated)

Speaking of awkward celebrity news (is there any other kind?), Dennis Rodman has opened his mouth, and words have come out. They make limited sense, but they are appearing in a recent issue of Sports Illustrated, and we will probably buy that issue now, because this is where our life choices have led us.

Specifically, Dennis Rodman has suggested that, after his visits to North Korea and the Vatican, what he really deserves is a Nobel Peace Prize. Of course. After all the work he’s been doing to reach out to the repressive North Korean regime, someone should probably give him the award first given to such slouches as Jane Addams, Theodore Roosevelt and Martin Luther King Jr.

Rodman himself has noted, “Why it’s been left to me to smooth things over, I don’t know. Dennis Rodman, of all people. Keeping us safe is really not my job . . . But I’ll tell you this: If I don’t finish in the top three for the next Nobel Peace Prize, something’s seriously wrong.”

Seriously, what is President Obama doing? Poor Dennis has to pick up all the Hanging Out With Dictators Eating Elaborate Meals And Playing Ball slack. This is diplomacy, right? Why won’t the president just play a little basketball with Kim, like Rodman will? The real crisis in the world today is not famine or autocracy or repression of civil society. It is that too many dictators are misunderstood and lonely, and they just need Dennis Rodman to play basketball with them. If only this had occurred to Gandhi, think where we would be today.

Here are some pictures from his Vice Magazine-sponsored trip that Gawker put together, to keep things in perspective.