Just in case you missed this news, because you turned your Google Alert for “Clay Aiken news” off sometime in 2004, Clay Aiken is running for a North Carolina congressional seat currently occupied by Republican Renee Ellmers.
His Web site, ClayAiken.com, is entirely occupied by a video of Aiken in a nice button-down shirt speaking directly into the camera, first about his own childhood experience, then seguing into the completely untouched themes of how much he wants to help underprivileged children, how he wants to go to D.C. but not become a politician, urging support for the troops and reminding God to bless everyone. It sounds sweet and sincere, but there go any hopes that his candidacy might break any fun, zany new ground. This is the trouble with the Frankenization of politics, where anyone we first came to know and love for being fun, personable and televised surrenders all of these attributes to step into the limelight, unless of course he is running for governor. As Aiken’s video goes on, the camera moves closer and closer, leading to the belief that if Aiken just continued to speak for another 10 minutes, it would wind up lodged somewhere in his left nostril. Other than that, there is limited excitement, unless what really excites you is some pictures of big trees and an array of buttons you can click to donate money.
In the real world, as he reminds us, there is no such thing as a golden ticket. And if there is, he’s not running on one. In 2012, the district he’s running in went for Romney over Obama, 57.6 to 41.3 percent.
More important, there is already an attack ad, from the Gregory brothers of Songify the News fame. Behold: