Well, a federal judge overturned Texas’s ban on same-sex marriage, saying that “Without a rational relation to a legitimate governmental purpose, state-imposed inequality can find no refuge in our United States Constitution.”
Everyone on Twitter instantly rushed to say that “Federal Judge Dares to Mess With Texas.” But when it comes to headlines, surely we can do better!
Here are all the alternative suggestions you could possibly need, give or take a couple:
Remember the Alimony
Texas Holdem (Til Death Do Us Part)
Keep Austin Wed
Houston, We Have No Problem (With Gay Marriage)
Not-So-Lone Star State
Let’s Raise a Texas Toast
I Do Si Do (Now Swing Your Partner ‘Round and Round)
Debbie “I Do’s” Dallas
Everything’s Bigger In Texas, Now Including Marriage Equality
And if you can think of something that isn’t Walker, Texas Marriage Arranger, please go wild in the comments.