The Washington Post

Better things to do than picket the Fred Phelps funeral

Charlie Riedel/Associated Press
Charlie Riedel/Associated Press

On March 19, Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church passed away in the night.

Who will picket the funeral of the man who picketed so many?

Let’s hope, no one.

First because there may be no funeral to picket, and second because — well, we’re better than that.

I know the urge to celebrate his passing is strong. But as Funny Or Die quipped, “Feels weird to celebrate Fred Phelps’ death considering that sort of thing was basically his favorite hobby.” Instead, let’s celebrate all the good he accomplished in his life — completely inadvertently.

It’s a fitting conclusion to the life of someone who, in the course of committing himself so loudly and grotesquely to hate (it was even on his bumper stickers), wound up proving again and again how much love there was in people. He would show up at a funeral with his family and their hideous signs, and others would rally. Even the KKK showed up. When the KKK Imperial Wizard comments that, compared to you, he is not a “hate-monger,” and says he “thinks that it’s an absolute shame that [the WBC] show up and disrupt people’s funerals” — well, need you say more? It’s like a twist on the old Churchill analogy about Hitler invading Hell.

A lot of people who set out to do good and advance the cause of love don’t accomplish this much. Thank you to Mr. Phelps, in a strange, strange way, for proving us right. Hate is well-publicized, but small. Love was bigger. He showed up with his signs, and people responded with a Wall of Love. He kept achieving the opposite of what he set out to do. He faxed tons and tons of complaints about — they passed a law against fax harassment. He showed up at funerals with his Hateful Signs, and people gathered to shield the mourners, or the Patriot Guard riders showed up, or even the KKK did. He tested our commitment to free speech, even extreme and ugly speech, and — yup, it is still strong.

The best arguments against some causes are their adherents.

He became the face of hate. The face of hate was protesting funerals and forcing children to hold up big odious signs. It wasn’t good PR for hate. He made hate look hateful.

“Gee,” you thought. “If these are the people think being gay is wrong, maybe thinking that is wrong. This is horrible. Can you direct me to where there is tolerance? I don’t want to be on the same side of history as these folks.” Since he began drawing attention in the 1990s, look what tolerance and love have achieved: the end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the spread of marriage equality to seventeen states and Washington DC — and the list goes on.

Admittedly, he proved that there are more good people than not in much the way that somebody smashing a pane of glass proves that there are a lot of good window-repair shops in the world. You wish you didn’t have to bother. But it’s good to know.

So don’t dance on the grave. Don’t cheer. It’s an understandable urge. Instead:

-Stop picketing funerals at all, ever, full stop. It is a terrible way of getting attention.
-Play with a kid. Do not hand that kid a hateful sign. Again, this should go without saying.
-Love someone.
-Send someone a thank-you note.
-Call your grandmother.
-Take a nap.
-Make a big colorful sign that says something polite. Take it to a place that is not a funeral.
-Love your neighbor.
-Stand up for someone who is being shouted down.
-Treat people like people.
-Make a sandwich.
-Feel the urge to say something hateful. Don’t succumb. Know you’re better than that. You are.

If his life kept proving anything, it was that.

Comments
Show Comments
0 Comments
Washington Post Subscriptions

Get 2 months of digital access to The Washington Post for just 99¢.

A limited time offer for Apple Pay users.

Buy with
Cancel anytime

$9.99/month after the two month trial period. Sales tax may apply.
By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Service, Digital Products Terms of Sale & Privacy Policy.

Get 2 months of digital access to The Washington Post for just 99¢.

Most Read

opinions

compost

Success! Check your inbox for details.

See all newsletters

Close video player
Now Playing
Read content from allstate
Content from Allstate This content is paid for by an advertiser and published by WP BrandStudio. The Washington Post newsroom was not involved in the creation of this content. Learn more about WP BrandStudio.
We went to the source. Here’s what matters to millennials.
A state-by-state look at where Generation Y stands on the big issues.