See? Was that so hard?

(Ellen Kooijman/ Lego Ideas)
(Ellen Kooijman/ Lego Ideas)

This lovely Ellen Kooijman-designed “Research Institute” of female scientist minifigurines doing cool science things will be a set of LEGOs soon, the Danish toymaker announced, after it gained enthusiastic support in the LEGO Ideas online competition.

As my colleague Abby Phillip writes, this was a long time coming. 

The gender ratio in LEGO-land is badly skewed. On the one hand, female LEGOs who want to date have the pick of the male LEGO litter, able to choose from pirates and firefighters and police offers and LEGO everymen. A female 4, in LEGO-land, might as well be a 10.

On the other hand, their options for professions are oddly limited. They are, in most cases, obliged to behead a male figurine if they wish to pursue a career similar to his. Otherwise, they are reduced to sitting around baking, being mermaids or hanging out with the alarmingly tall and indolent female Lego Friends.

Well may you shudder. (photo courtesy my iPhone)
Well may you shudder. (photo courtesy my iPhone)

This seems like an untenable state of affairs.

But now the first step has been made! And the designer of the winning “Research Institute” has a number of other swank designs — I’m fond of the judge — if these take off.

Now that LEGO is acquiescing to our requests, the sky is the limit! Women aren’t just scientists, after all. As long as we’re at it, we might as well try the:

• LEGO Supreme Court Justice (get some of that exciting ruffle action!): Equip this lady with a gavel and let her set precedents for the rest of your toys. Be sure to confirm her only after months and months of speculation about her personal life.

• LEGO Anna Karenina: Great addition to any train set.

• LEGO Marie Antoinette: Splurge on your kids and get them the entire French Revolution LEGO set (all those detachable heads have to be good for something!) including a Lego Marie Antoinette with cake accessory.

• LEGO Orange Is The New Black playset: Okay, they’re not exactly role models, but one creative soul did make a Breaking Bad set, so there’s precedent. Build your own replica of the cafeteria or recreate a memorable scene from the chapel! Maybe don’t give them to your kids though.

• LEGO Lean-In Lady: Comes complete with a copy of “Lean In,” which the LEGO Lean In Lady has not actually read, even though she knows her book club of fellow LEGO Lady Employees is supposed to be discussing it really soon. Then again, the LEGO book does not have pages, so it is difficult to do much with it other than carry it around.

• Lady Journalist LEGO: With her notebook, recorder and sensible footwear, she can track down sources and emit Freedom of Information Act requests all day long without breaking a sweat! LEGO Older Male Sources Who Keep Thinking LEGO Lady Journalist Is Hitting On Them are not included but are available with the expansion set.

• LEGO Geek Girl: She is just a regular geek, not some kind of fake or poseur, but try explaining that to many swaths of the nerd community.

• LEGO Female Head of State: “With the advent of Margaret Thatcher, we went from ‘Iron, lady!’ to ‘Iron Lady'” says the packaging on either the sensible Merkel or the more polarizing Thatcher (bigger hair, more complex emotional responses from British LEGO purchasers.)

• LEGO Feminist: This comes in both the Real (she can be anything else she wants to be, from pop star to ordinary individual) and Mythical variety, which is actually a cooler toy because it breathes fire, carries around a tiny LEGO Burning Bra (TM), includes luxuriant forests of leg hair and is magnetized so that it avoids and despises all masculine LEGOs.

• LEGO Movie Actress: Red Carpet Reporter asking about LEGO Actress’s beauty routine included. Strange periods of Universal Acceptance and Insistence That LEGO Movie Actress Would Be Your Best Friend If You Met In Real Life, followed by Weird Backlash Where You Say She’s Just A Plastic Phony Like All The Other Phonies come only in the expansion pack but make great fodder for a confusing playtime.

• LEGO Mom: No matter what she’s doing, it is not correct! “It All” expansion pack may or may not exist.


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Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day. She is the author of "A Field Guide to Awkward Silences".