Sure, today is National Doughnut Day.
But I just hate how commercialized National Doughnut Day has become.
You should celebrate doughnuts every day, not just when Big Corporate Doughnut wants you to remember to honor the doughnuts in your life. (Mmm, Big Corporate Doughnut sounds delicious.)
Why just the first Friday in June? (Well, actually, because this started with the Salvation Army, which in 1938 marked out the day to honor and remember the “doughgirls” who brought doughnuts to the “doughboys” of World War I. “Doughboy” was once both the nickname for a novelty fried-dough treat that later evolved (or was intelligently designed into) the modern doughnut, and for U.S. troops. The name may have started as a derogatory way of referring to non-cavalrymen, although sources differ.
Doughnuts have long been a part of our nation’s history, since John F. Kennedy said,
“Doughnut ask what your country can do for you …” “I am a Berliner,” which loosely translates to “I am a jelly doughnut” I am informed that he said neither of these things, but surely Homer Simpson said something, and he’s presided over lots of history.
But it doesn’t matter if doughnuts show up in the history books, although that would be a delicious surprise. What matters is that doughnuts show up in our lives to fill the hole in the center of our being with the hole in theirs.
Don’t stop at National Doughnut Day, even though today is the only day people will hand you these glorious confections for free. (Here’s where.) Nuts to calories! Nuts to fat! Embrace doughnuts every day! Celebrate the doughnut and sing the doughnut! Doughnut go gentle into that good night! Let them eat cake doughnuts! Let them eat glazed doughnuts!
Remember the true meaning of doughnut is in our hearts. (Specifically, the artery area of the heart.)
* I am spelling it “doughnut,” rather than “donut,” under Post stylebook duress, the same way I am forced to avoid Oxford commas.