The racist bone is connected to the inferior nasal concha. (Wong Campion/Reuters)

The cry has gone up again: “He doesn’t have a racist bone in his body.”

People are always talking about this bone. Somehow, when it comes to racism, it is not “He doesn’t have a racist thought in his head” or “He has incorporated no unfortunate unexamined biases into his worldview,” but “He doesn’t have a racist bone in his body.” The Racist Bone, it is implied, has an independent existence, and it can be taken out with a scalpel, if necessary, right before a press conference.

But which bone are we talking about? Is the racist bone connected to the knee bone, which is connected to the thigh bone and the hip bone?

Here is a list of bones, ranked from Probably Not Racist to Definitely Racist, for our further edification. (This is non-scientific, but I think it checks out.)

15. tibia

14. femur

13. fibia

12. phalanges

11. tarsus

10. wishbone

9. patella

8. Bon Iver

7. the bone that tells your grandfather when rain is coming

6. the bone that tells your grandfather that the Neighborhood Is Going

5. ulna

4. scapula

3. mandible

2. inferior nasal concha

1. the Racist Bone

(The strange thing about the Racist Bone is that nobody actually seems to have one, no one knows where it is and by the time you ask about it, it has already been removed.)

See also.