Ladieeeees… (Photo by Robert Jacob Lerma)

This is the unkindest cut of all.

South Carolina state Sen. Thomas Corbin reportedly explained that you can make fun of women because “Well, you know God created man first. Then he took the rib out of man to make woman. And you know, a rib is a lesser cut of meat.”

I have a beef with this line of thinking. I would like to shank him or knee him in the tender loin. This is a grisly thing to say, and I don’t want to meat cute. I never heard such a thing, or sausage a thing.

Ahem. It’s nice to be objectified in a way that makes me feel like actual meat rather than metaphorical meat. You know that if this gentleman stares at your rack, it is because he is thinking about barbecue.

In context, it might have made more sense if Corbin had quickly added, “Everyone knows that human ribs taste terrible!” then offered everyone more Chianti and fava beans. But no. It seems this was not a poignant confession of cannibalism, but a gross butchery of a Biblical metaphor.

If you view it as literally true, though, it makes a lot more sense. If we had only been cut out of a different part of the original man-meat, how different women’s history might have been! I assume the diagram looks something like this.

man meats

Seems about right.