As my colleague Jonathan Capehart points out, the current field of Republican 2016 contenders and potential contenders offer a painfully contorted array of responses to the question of whether or not they would attend a gay wedding for a friend or loved one. Rick Santorum would not go. Ted Cruz called it a “gotcha.” Marco Rubio would. John Kasich would and has. Scott Walker went to the reception.

It’s tough! Can you simultaneously be a decent human being who celebrates your friends’ milestones and also be a Disapproving Frowny-Face Standing Athwart History Shouting “No!” for the voters? (Keep in mind that Disapproving Frowny-Faces Standing Athwart History Shouting “No!” tend to fare better through the primaries.) How do you parse and contort? Do you catch up to the majority of the country, or drag your heels?

For the ease and convenience of these candidates, here is an RSVP card for the next time this issue  arises.

Keep your candidates straight!