Wow, mere seconds into the Jindal campaign for president and some monster has already released a strange hidden-camera video of the candidate at home talking to his children about dead fish.
Yes, some nightmarish individual had the gall to sneak into Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s home and put a hidden camera there to capture poor-quality video of him talking to his wife and children. It’s terrible. The camera is partially behind a plant, the sound quality is awful and Bobby Jindal refers to himself in the third person. Repeatedly.
And I regret to say that this same monster leaked this video Wednesday, of all days, when Governor Jindal was announcing his candidacy for president.
Wait, I’m sorry, I’m being pulled aside — ah. The Jindal campaign put out this video itself, you say? It took this video and then released it on purpose? And we are supposed to trust this man’s judgment enough to elect him to the nation’s highest office?
How in blazes did this happen?
“Okay,” someone in the campaign must have said. “We want this campaign to succeed. You know what succeeded?”
“Paranormal Activity,” one staffer said, instantly.
“The Herman Cain campaign, in its late experimental videos stage,” another volunteered, at exactly the same time.
And instead of instantly rushing out to replace those people with other people who had what are generally regarded as “good” ideas, everyone thumped the table and said “YES! By jove, that’s the ticket!” and then they actually COMMITTED to this bit. They committed to the point of using a creepy found-footage video to start the campaign.
“This,” they said. “This is the first thing we want America to see.” They posted SEVEN of them, just in case you might have thought the first was a horrible mistake that was sure to be removed the second someone noticed it was there. Someone even must have moved the camera out from behind the plant to capture one child getting distracted by a turtle. (Scroll down to “Look, a Turtle!”) How I wish I were making this up. But I’m not.
As Stephen Sondheim wrote: “Bobby. Bobby baby. Bobby … darling.”
Next week, we’ll be treated to footage of doors mysteriously opening and closing while Governor Jindal tosses and turns over his stance on Common Core, and then very close to the camera we may see a flash of what appears to be Rick Perry without his glasses.
This is a strong move, if Governor Jindal is trying to position his film as an indie found-footage horror flick. But in a campaign for president? Then again, better this than the Exorcist.