Well, the Supreme Court has ruled on gay marriage. In a 5-to-4 verdict penned by Justice Kennedy, it found that gay marriage (or, as we can now call it, “marriage”) is protected under the 14th Amendment.

Justice Scalia was, well, not exactly over the moon about this and penned a withering dissent. So withering that it seemed fit subject for a quiz. (No, this is not particularly substantive, but given how much time Scalia spent dissecting the majority opinion’s style, it seemed only fair.) So, see if you can guess who said the following.

1. “…couched in a style as pretentious as its content is egotistic.”
A) Justice Scalia
B) Amazon reviewer of Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom”

2. “If, even as the price to be paid for a fifth vote, I ever joined an opinion for the Court that began: ‘The Constitution promises liberty to all within its reach, a liberty that includes certain specific rights that allow persons, within a lawful realm, to define and express their identity,’ I would hide my head in a bag.”
A) Justice Scalia
B) Justice Scalia, with a bag over his head

3. “the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie”
A) Justice Scalia
B) An author offering a rejected title for a sequel to “The Tao of Pooh”

4. “Ask the nearest hippie.”
A) Justice Scalia
B) That one old man at your Thanksgiving meal who has gotten very upset about social issues during dessert and is gesturing with his fork.

5. “We move one step closer to being reminded of our impotence.”
A) Justice Scalia
B) Wistful old man about to watch Cialis commercial

6. “What say?”
A) Justice Scalia
B) Old man yelling at you to get off his lawn

7. “Hubris is sometimes defined as o’erweening pride”
A) Justice Scalia
B) A ninth grader writing the first sentence of an essay on “Oedipus Rex”

8. “Pride, we know, goeth before a fall”
A) Justice Scalia
B) The same ninth-grader at the end of that same essay

9. “Huh?”
A) Justice Scalia
B) Startled elderly man waking up from a nap and seeing that the world has changed

Answers: always A, occasionally B