“Two Corinthians, 3:17, that’s the whole ballgame.”

-Donald Trump, speaking at Liberty University, an evangelical university that recognizes that the usual pronunciation of this book is “Second Corinthians.”

Other books of the Trump Bible, in order, include:
My Good Friend, Leviticus
Mitt Deuteromney
Time To Get Tough
Ruth A Very Beautiful Woman
1 Samuel
Bob Samuelson
1 Kings
2 Miss Universe
I Like People Who Weren’t Captured
2 Chronicles
Ezra Klein Is A Nobody
Amazing, Believe Me
The Art Of The Comeback
Judith, With A Face Like That?
Esther Blood Coming Out Of Her Eyes, Her Whatever
1 Maccabees
2 Bees
Job Creation
Psalms, With The P Pronounced
TRUMP Proverbs
You’re Fired
Song of Trumps
My Beautiful Daughter Ivanka
Classy Wisdom
Isaiah Lot Of Things
We Will Get Sick Of Winning
Lame Ntations
Baruch? Barack Obama, Just Awful
Ezekiel, Just A Nobody
They Tell Me These Things
Hosea And Tricks
Joel See Big Changes Around Here
Amos Disturbing Trend
Obadiah In China They Are Taking Our Jobs
Jonah Goldberg Of the Once Great @NRO Is Really Dumb As A Rock
Micah Is Bigger Than Your Cah
Habakkuk Is Maybe A Name Of A Foreign Policy Thing I Will Be So Good On Very Shortly
I Don’t Make The Rules
I Don’t Know, That’s Just What They Say

New Testament
Well, I’ll Tell You, John
Give them the Acts
2 Corinthians

Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Coming Here Taking Our Jobs And We Don’t Have To Stand For This And Under A Trump Presidency We Won’t
I’m The Super Genius Of All Time
Thessalonians Should Have To Be On A Registry
1 Timothy, Russert, I Knew Him, Good Guy
Very Low Energy
Don’t Be Such A Titus
Don Lemon
Megyn Kelly
You’re A Tough Guy
1 John
The Silent Majority Of Johns
3 Johns, Very Intelligent Men, They Tell Me
The Art of the Deal