Columnist

It’s Tuesday, March 29, 2016, and facts are dead.

They had a good run.

It used to be that when people said “Who are you going to believe, me, or your own eyes?,” they were joking. Not the Donald Trump campaign. It remains stubbornly impervious to reality.

“But we have video footage of this happening,” you can say. “Look, here it is!”

“Ah,” the Trump campaign says, bending eight spoons and then vanishing into a telephone, “but what if the whole world exists only as a figment of our minds?”

The Trump campaign has been an ongoing test of how few things people are willing to Google.

On Tuesday, Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski was charged with simple battery for allegedly aggressively grabbing reporter Michelle Fields out of the way in a manner that left visible bruises.

First the Trump campaign denied it. Never mind that reporters were there and said it happened, including The Post’s Ben Terris.

Now there’s video, from the security cameras, where you can see the incident unfold. The Jupiter (Fla.) Police Department felt sufficiently confident after watching footage from Trump’s own security cameras that it charged Lewandowski with simple battery.

But that is not sufficient for Donald Trump.

*shrieks incoherently*

Who do you believe, me or your own eyes?

Scroll through the comments beneath Trump’s tweets and you will see people who can see the actual video footage and still don’t believe it. Or they think this is how you should behave and it’s fine.

Even though just days ago Trump was insisting the whole incident was a fabrication and Lewandowski was saying either that he had never seen or touched Fields or that he’d mistaken her for a member of the hostile mainstream media (depending upon who asked and when). Which is it? Does it matter?

No. What matters is that you never apologize. If you never apologize, you are never wrong.

If George Orwell had known that all that was necessary to get us to question the reality presented to us by our own eyes was to have Trump loudly declare the opposite, he could have saved a lot of money on the Ministry of Truth. You don’t need torture. You don’t need that ominous machine with the dial of pain. Just get Trump in there to tell you how many fingers O’Brien is really holding up, and you will start to doubt everything.

The Red Pill isn’t just a Reddit forum full of Trump supporters any more. It’s something you have to take in order to comprehend the campaign. Maybe everything is subjective! Maybe NOTHING has any objective existence whatsoever! Maybe all facts are lies! Maybe we can bend the fabric of reality so that the same reporter is simultaneously a “delusional” stranger we have never met and never touched and never seen AND actually the one who was really assaulting Trump and also the video is wrong. She’s a human mobius strip! “That makes sense,” she said, as her eyes melted and fire began pouring from her ears.

WE ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT VIDEO OF THIS HAPPENING.
ENOUGH VIDEO THAT POLICE DETERMINED HE COULD BE CHARGED
BUT TRUMP SAYS IT’S NOTHING
SO
(shrug)

Perhaps this explains Trump’s philosophy. If you, yourself, are subjectively the ultimate arbiter of reality, then only what you permit to be true is actually true. Everything is made up and nothing matters! Whee! Hang up all the fact-checkers. Shut down all the Truth-o-Meters. We have been going about this wrong. All that you need for something to be true is for Donald Trump to say that it is so. And as soon as he says it is false, it is false again. We are in the position of Kate in the fifth act of “The Taming of the Shrew.” (“Sun it is not, when you say it is not; And the moon changes even as your mind. What you will have it nam’d, even that it is, And so it shall be so, for Katharine.”) Sure. Seems right.

This is fine. Trump says so.