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Opinion How to tell stars apart (A guide for Donald Trump)

Donald Trump tweeted an image that came from a June 15 tweet by @FishBoneHead1, an account with a penchant for memes that mock Muslims, black Democrats and more. Trump later deleted the tweet and uploaded it with a circle instead of a red Star of David. (Twitter screen grab)

Donald Trump seems to be having some trouble with stars lately.

In case he is serious, here is a guide for the perplexed tycoon.

-Sheriff’s Star or Star of David: It can be easy to confuse these stars! A handy mnemonic device is to ask yourself, “Does this star have little nubs at the ends of its points, or was it used by the Nazis?”

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-“Plain Star” or Star of David: What is a plain star? Paul Giamatti? You can tell these two apart because if you send a picture of Paul Giamatti to a journalist, it isn’t a weird threat.

-Starfish or Star of David: One of these lives under the sea, has five arms and appears on “Spongebob Squarepants.” The other one only appears on freeze-frames of “Spongebob Squarepants” episodes that have been heavily doctored by conspiracy theorists.

-Jesus Christ Superstar or Star of David: Both are stars associated with the Jewish tradition, so I can see how this confusion would occur.

-“Basic star” or Star of David: You can tell if what you have on your hands is a “basic star” by pointing off in the distance and shouting “PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE!” If the star immediately rushes off in the direction you indicated, it was a basic star.

-Normal, Regular Star or Star of David: One of these is a GIANT BALL OF EXPLOSIVE GAS located light-minutes or light-years away. There should be zero confusion here. Donald Trump is also a giant ball of explosive gas but he is located much nearer.

-Reality TV Star or Star of David: If Donald Trump puts one of these in a position where you see it next to Hillary Clinton, people will sigh and say, “Really? What a depressing set of options we have this year.” If Donald Trump puts the other one next to Hillary Clinton, people will also sigh and say “Really? What a depressing set of options we have this year.”

-Kenneth Starr or Star of David: If you put a picture of Kenneth Starr next to Hillary Clinton, people will object to that, too, but for different reasons.

-Death Star or Star of David: One of these is a giant, wasteful government spending project that is shaped like a small moon. The other is a historical symbol that you can’t pretend not to know the significance of in 2016.

-Stars and Bars or Star of David: The biggest difference between these is that only one of them is in an ugly meme that has been retweeted by Donald Trump. Yet.

The Washington Post’s Robert Costa explains why Trump’s latest Twitter controversy is typical of the way his campaign operates. (Video: Bastien Inzaurralde/The Washington Post)
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