Explaining the need for guns in schools, Trump nominee for education secretary, Betsy DeVos, described a Wyoming school and noted, “I would imagine there is probably a gun in a school to protect from potential grizzlies.”

Potential grizzlies may well be a valid concern. But what about GRIZZLY POTENTIAL?

As author John Green asked, “But what if you’re a cool grizzly bear who just wants to go to school and learn to read and not hurt anyone?”

We have asked, “How might we get a bear out of a school?” But we have not asked, “Why are there so few bears in school in the first place?”

Fish are always in schools. All mammals are in a class. What is keeping bears out? I can understand why bears do not attend college: SAT tutoring is out of their price ranges. But I don’t understand what is deterring them from putting in an appearance at our nation’s many exceptional institutions of primary education.

Teachers may have a right to bear arms, but do they have a right to bear arms — that is, the arms you use against bears?

Could it be because we deny bears access to schools that pandas have evidently never received even basic sex ed?

Does a bear poop in the woods? Yes: because we are not taking it on ourselves to help that bear achieve.

Whenever we have asked much of bears, they have delivered. Teddy Roosevelt rose to the nation’s highest office. I know what you are thinking: “But Teddy Roosevelt was not a bear. He was a human being.” To you I say, what do we really know about Teddy Roosevelt? We know he spoke softly and carried a big stick. Someone who doesn’t speak and loves big sticks. Now, does that sound more like a person or like a bear trying to pass himself off as a person? I will wait a moment for you to write down your answer.

Look, DeVos acts as if she’s in favor of school vouchers, but she does not even consider the impact this has on bear access to education. I guess you could argue that keeping guns in schools has worked to keep bears away, but not having guns in school has worked to keep bears away from a much larger number of schools. My point is, the science is not settled yet.

Until it is, we should think carefully. Do we want to allow this threat to our public schools? And also, what about these bears?