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Opinion What only Trump understands: Hillary Clinton won the election

President Trump fired off a series of Russia related tweets on Sunday, July 9. Here's what you need to know. (Video: Monica Akhtar/The Washington Post)

When Donald Trump said he might not accept the results of the election, we should have believed him. Now here we are, eight thousand years into his presidency, and he is still telling us about what an awful job Hillary Clinton is doing. (Do you want to break the news to him, or shall I?)

Why, Donald Trump wonders, are we wasting all this time looking into the election of Donald Trump, a man who did not even win a majority of the popular vote, when Hillary Clinton is there, amassing scandal after scandal, safe from her perch in the Oval Office?

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Everything that Donald Trump does makes sense when you know that Hillary Clinton is president. He has plenty of time on his hands since he does not have to lead. He can tweet and put his head together with Sean Hannity’s head and study controversies. This is also why Donald Trump has been suggesting such strange things when it comes to policy. Who cares? What impact can it possibly have?

This is why he is always yelling about Fake News. The Fake News media have contumaciously persisted in their failure to notice that in spite of Donald Trump’s best efforts to stop her, Hillary Clinton is still in charge, and everything that is wrong in the country is the result of something she has done. Why won’t they admit this simple fact? “Fox & Friends” will, thankfully. But “Fox & Friends” alone is not enough.

Why isn’t this being reported? This is the greatest scandal. Why, in the world where Donald Trump lives, Hillary Clinton sat down at the G-20 summit and gave the country away. GAVE IT AWAY! She just handed it to them. Macron said “I don’t want this! Why have you given it to me?” but he figured he could dispose of it later in some sort of reverse Louisiana Purchase, and Merkel just threw up her hands. Also Chelsea kept her seat warm, and she received UNEARNED ACCLAIM for so doing. It was a GREAT SHAME, and nobody talks about it!

(In the world that I can see, Donald Trump went into a room with Vladimir Putin and suggested that we form a joint force on cybersecurity together, but that just CAN’T be what happened because it is so absolutely idiotic.)

Thank heavens that Donald Trump is still there to keep tabs on her. He even went to the G-20 summit, where EVERYONE was discussing the fact that John Podesta refused to give the DNC server to the FBI and the CIA. I mean EVERYONE. Everyone! (Now that same Everyone is discussing how he rescued a Marine’s hat.) His son is helping, too, eagerly meeting with anyone and everyone who said they might have damaging information about Hillary Clinton. Good! She must be stopped. Donald Trump won the electoral college, was inaugurated, appointed a cabinet (somewhat) and yet — she is still inexplicably president, still running the country, and everything wrong is still her doing. How can we bear to let this go on? With luck, he will bring down this administration.