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Opinion Farewell, MS Paint: A retrospective

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I can’t believe they’ve done this. MS Paint is leaving us, after all these years.

It won’t be included in the next Windows Update. Windows Autumn/Fall will come and bring an emptiness. There will be no tool for drawing ineptly colored mists or mellow fruitfulnesses. MS Paint will ride no more.

This grief, though common to all, also strikes me on a personal level. MS Paint was my creative outlet for many years.

Indeed, there was a time when I spent the majority of my time drawing terrible pictures in MS Paint that were, at best, tangentially related to the news. Now that MS Paint is leaving us, it is as good a time as any to go through all these drawings and wonder what I was thinking.

A picture may be worth 1,000 words, but I think if the picture is made in MS Paint, the going rate might be slightly less.

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Thank you, MS Paint, for allowing this to happen. You were a tool well-suited to my skills, or lack thereof.

This is a SERIAL COMMA! Get it? Because — okay, you get it.

This was not a good lifestyle!

This one has a caption so we know what it was!

Here is another in a similar vein, showing men this time.

MS Paint: for when making an actual graph is TOO difficult!

What follows are some images of the Founding Fathers as superheroes, I think inspired by a comment Scott Walker made.

This was for a story I wrote from the perspective of measles.

I don’t remember what article this picture went with, but I am glad to hear that it had no bearing.

I did a lot of comma-related art, because this was the time of the Oxford comma wars, when many good grammarians got very heated and said things they would later regret.

I don’t know what this was for.

I have NO IDEA what the context was for this.

Look at James Madison’s creepy arms. Something went very wrong here.

This must have been for a piece about catcalling. It is not a bad mouse, in my opinion.

Some more charts:

Seasonal Songs all fall into a pattern:

The following are all Whig bumper stickers, but I don’t remember why I thought it was a good idea to make them. It wasn’t.

Sad Elephant. (I got a lot of use out of this one!)

I think this had something to do with CNN?

I think this was for a piece about mice who had had false memories implanted in them, but even that doesn’t really explain what’s going on.

These are from the time when Vladimir Putin took someone’s Super Bowl ring and didn’t give it back! Ah, a simpler time.

I believe a member of Congress had just said to “stop casting aspersions on my asparagus.”

Remember when we were all upset about the way books were marketed?

This must have been about the Jodi Arias trial but I don’t know why Cthulhu is there.

This is when the U.S. Postal Service came out with a fashion line!

I would say “something went very wrong,” but that would imply that only one thing went very wrong.

PEOPLE DON’T RSVP! gosh this was a simpler time

WHY DID I LOVE HOW VERSATILE THE UNICORN WAS?

The more I look at these, the less certain I am that losing MS Paint is the tragedy I initially thought it was.

Still, will I MS Paint? Yes. I will MS Paint a great deal.

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