Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.). (Jacquelyn Martin/Associated Press)
Columnist

If someone called on you to resign on the grounds that you had allegedly done a lot of sexual misconduct and displayed constant disrespect for women, would you respond by calling her something disrespectful and making vague sexual implications about her? No? Well, that is where you and President Trump are different.

When Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) and three others called on him to resign in light of allegations of sexual misconduct (they have been out there for a while, but we are doing this new thing where we listen to women), Trump responded by tweeting that she came to his office “begging” for contributions and “would do anything for them.”

Why do all these women keep suggesting that Trump does not respect them, when he palpably respects not just 10s who are beautiful pieces of ass but those who are no longer a 10 and those who are built like a linebacker?

Trump respects women more than anybody, you bimbo. You bleeding badly from a face-lift fat pig, why would you think Trump did not respect women or might harass them or assault them or single them out in any way, when they let him do anything, because he is a star?

Why would you suggest Donald Trump had a woman problem, you lightweight with blood coming out of your wherever. You are unattractive both inside and out with your fat, ugly face, and your husband leveled up when he left you for a man. Look at that face, would anybody vote for that? You are disgusting. You are nasty.

Trump is sick of having to hear from these women. Why are their mouths moving? Why don’t they flip their panties at him (?!) and get down on their knees (a beautiful sight) (!?!) as they did in the good old days. He respects them all. He respects Miss Piggy. He respects Miss Housekeeping, even if she is fat.

How dare you insinuate that Trump has ever treated women as something different than people, you group of multiple men and one woman whom he will single out for specific and personal insults? He loves the works of art that are females. He gives them the ultimate compliment you can give a woman: the promise of his sexual attention. That is what women want, right? He is serious, he is asking now, he has always felt bad because the one thing women love most is being told they’re attractive enough that Donald Trump would sleep with them, yet people frown on you if you say that to your daughter or even strongly imply it. But what else could you possibly say? Right?

Calm down, crazy! Do not say Trump is a sexist creep, you Chuck Schumer flunky who came to his office to “beg” and do anything. How dare you. Besides, this makes him look bad. He would not have let you do anything! You are not on his list of 10 Most Beautiful, and who is to say you do not possess “pancake tits”?

Trump is only saying all this because he respects you.