- Privilege of the Floor: The baby shall have privilege of the floor, and when able to crawl, shall be permitted to introduce a motion to the floor.
- Appointment of a Baby to the Chair: A baby may be appointed to the chair, but it does not have to remain in the chair, and if it begins to cry, it may be removed from the chair.
- Commencement of Daily Sessions: The baby’s daily sessions shall commence at an ungodly hour of the night and not cease until such time as the baby sees fit to suspend them.
- Morning Business: The baby shall complete morning business in regular order.
- Order of Business: Whoever was not responsible for the changing of the receptacle for the baby’s morning business shall be charged with the next discharge of this duty.
- Papers — Withdrawal, Printing, Reading of and Reference: A baby may take into its mouth a paper, but the withdrawal of that paper shall be left up to others.
- Reconsideration: The baby may go to sleep, but at a moment’s notice, the baby may … not.
- Session Behind Closed Doors: The baby may summon its caretaker from behind closed doors where its caretaker was just trying to get some work done.
- Preambles: The baby cannot amble yet, but as soon as it can you had better make certain to secure the carpet.
- Motions to Discharge: If the baby has motions to discharge, the baby shall be permitted to do so.
- Retirement: A baby may refuse to retire, cling to objects around it and squall.
- Gifts: A baby may accept gifts, but it is free to drop them and coat them in Cheerios.
- No leaking.
- No filibustering.
April 20, 2018 at 2:38 PM EDT